If you'll allow me, I'd like to drop the 'character' we usually employ when writing our blog posts and editorial letters. I am writing as Ryan Shattuck, editor and founder of The Regal Seagull - from my heart to your heart. Imagine, if you will, that our hearts are sitting down at a cafe and enjoying tea on a nice sunny afternoon. The same way two best friends might. Except they're hearts.
As you know, The Regal Seagull has not been updated in a number of weeks. There is but just one simple reason for this: we are burned out. We've run out of motivation. We don't get paid to run The Regal Seagull, nor do we even receive acclaim or any kind of praise. We write and update The Regal Seagull because we're in love with humor and we're (mostly) in love with Utah. This isn't us being cheesy. This is us being honest and sincere.
We've given you, the reader, a lot over the past year. Next month will be The Regal Seagull's 1-year anniversary, and in that time we've written nearly 500 stories, making fun of Utah and national news. In comparison, there are only 431 episodes of The Simpsons. That's right. There are more Regal Seagull stories than there are The Simpsons episodes. But in further comparison, The Simpsons is a lot funnier than The Regal Seagull.
Although we've grown and matured in our first year, it's also taken its toll on us. Most of The Regal Seagull's staff have at least one full time job, some of us are still in school, and nearly all of us write for other publications. I myself work two jobs and am also working on a book right now; thus it's been difficult to find the time or motivation to invest in The Regal Seagull as before.
Regardless of our priorities and responsibilities, we sincerely want The Regal Seagull to continue for a very long time. We need your help.
We are asking the fans of The Regal Seagull to save The Regal Seagull.
We've never asked anything from our fans before. We give and give until it hurts, and all we've ever wanted is a little love. You've certainly followed through. However, in this dire time we are forced to ask for a little more. Don't worry: we are not and will never ask for money.
Instead, we are asking you for your vote.
The Salt Lake City Weekly is currently running its "Best of Utah" awards. While we probably don't qualify for any of the regular categories, we are however asking you to vote for us in the write-in "Your Choice" category. We ask that you vote for us as follows: Utah's #1 News Source: The Regal Seagull.
You vote as follows:
1.) Visit www.cityweekly.net/utah by March 9th, 2009.
2.) Click where it says "Best of Utah 2009 Ballot." Be sure to stay clear of that lesbian on the right.
3.) You will have to register. Thank you for registering.
4.) One you register, you will be allowed to vote. Make sure you vote in at least 10 categories or your ballot will be invalid.
5.) At the very bottom, you will see a category which reads: "Best: Your Choice (anything we left off that you love)" You love The Regal Seagull. So write in as follows: Utah's #1 News Source: The Regal Seagull
6.) That's it. Click submit.
We know this is a lot to ask of you. But if you love The Regal Seagull - and you do - the best way to show your thanks is by voting for us. By voting for The Regal Seagull, you are telling us that you appreciate the hard work we do, and wish it would exist until long after we're dead. At which point, we'll probably stop updating the website.
Nobody likes a website written by zombies.
Thank you, fans of The Regal Seagull. You've made us who we are today.
The Regal Seagull
21 minutes ago