C'mon, Utah, time to put down the vodka.

Wow, Utah, you've been hitting the bottle pretty hard since the other night, haven't you?

Us, too.

Probably for different reasons.

But don't worry! We'll get through this together. After all, Utah, hasn't the Regal Seagull always been there for you? Through the bad times and the good. We held you when you cried, you held back our hair while we puked, and then we held you again while you cried because we puked on your favorite shoes.

So come on, Utah. Together we can find a way to make it through this tragedy. Somehow we will find the strength to carry on, to keep our heads held high and our upper lips stiff, and accept the results of Tuesday night's electoral injustice with stoic grace.

Even though all seems lost now, and the task at hand appears impossible, we'll just have to try to survive in a world where SUPERDELL is not our governor.

The best of luck to us all.

The Regal Seagull Weekly Poll: Utah's Race for Governor

Dearest Regal Seagull readers and readerettes,

Have you wondered any of the following?

• Did Jon Huntsman know this is an election year - and does it even matter?


• Which does Bob Springmeyer have more of: pluck or gumption?


• Have you wondered if Dell "Super" Schanze is so crazy that he in fact might just be a genius (minus the genius part)?

We can't help you answer any of these questions. But you can vote in our new poll!

Be sure to vote before our poll closes on November 5th. Remember: every vote counts. Unlike the real election, we don't discriminate against voters who happen to be dead or cartoon characters.

-The Regal Seagull Editorial Board

The 6th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: SUPERDELL

Do you have your Halloween costume yet? Of course you don't. You've busy with other things, like drinking milk straight out of the carton. We here at The Regal Seagull wish you would stop that. Not everybody wants your lips on the milk carton.

As for the costume, we are here to help! For the rest of the week we are counting down the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM. Yesterday we provided you with the 7th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: Warren Jeffs. And here is today's costume idea:

THE 6TH MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
Libertarian candidate for governor, SUPERDELL

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
At any gun shop, hang gliding shop, or the state mental health department.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
Totally. Totally awesome.

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Yes, provided the woman is attracted to media-hating, bat-shit crazy, former computer company owners who happen to be running for governor. Just stick to women with the intelligence of a golf club and you'll be fine.

BEST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
All the guns you can carry. Plus, you get to spell your name in all CAPS.

WORST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
People at your Halloween party would rather talk to a eucalyptus tree than someone dressed up as SUPERDELL.