The 3rd Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: Mormon Tabernacle Choir

Sound the alarm! Sound the alarm! We're almost to Halloween! And like an idiot, you're standing there not having a costume. Don't worry, for The Regal Seagull has cheerfully and obligingly provided you with the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM. Today's costume is sure to be popular with anyone who enjoys dressing up as a bunch of people. Oh, and anyone who likes singing while being dressed up as a bunch of people.

THE 3RD MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. That's right. The entire Mormon Tabernacle Freakin' Choir.

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
Wherever fancy tuxedo/dress hybrids are sold.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
If singing songs that cause others to take a nap is considered awesome, then yes. This costume is awesome.

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Yes, strangely enough. But you'll have to provide your own Viagra.

BEST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You can brag that you're an Grammy award winning choir! You know, the Grammy you won in 1960.

WORST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You're dressing up as a 360-person choir, so naturally people will assume you're very fat.

The 4th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: Mommy Blogger

T-minus 3 days! Halloween is this Friday! If you weren't worried yesterday about not having a costume, you should absolutely be worried today! Fortunately, you have The Regal Seagull. During the past few days we've provided you with a list of the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM. Today's costume is sure to be a hit with the ladies. And no, we don't mean "hit with the ladies" in a spouse abuse sort of way.

THE 4TH MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
Mommy Blogger

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
Wherever unattractive, frumpy clothes are sold.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
To the 12 readers who read your blog? Yes.

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Yes, by your husband. Resulting in even more babies.

BEST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You get to remain blissfully oblivious of the fact that nobody wants to see 4,000 pictures of your baby.

WORST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You'll have to start your own boring blog - it doesn't come with the costume.

The 5th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: The Holy Ghost

Halloween is at the end of this week! Only a few days left before it's crunch time. AND YOU DON'T HAVE A HALLOWEEN COSTUME YET!! Do not fear, as the rest of this week we are counting down the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM.

THE 5TH MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
The Holy Ghost

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
At church. Or the stillness of the night, in prayer. Wal-Mart also has a few Holy Ghost costumes left in their bargain bin.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
It depends. Are you part of the holy trinity, or aren't you?

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Absolutely not. Don't be inappropriate.

BEST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You can float through walls.

WORST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
You have to go to bed at midnight. Everyone knows the Holy Ghost goes to bed by midnight.

The 6th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: SUPERDELL

Do you have your Halloween costume yet? Of course you don't. You've busy with other things, like drinking milk straight out of the carton. We here at The Regal Seagull wish you would stop that. Not everybody wants your lips on the milk carton.

As for the costume, we are here to help! For the rest of the week we are counting down the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM. Yesterday we provided you with the 7th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: Warren Jeffs. And here is today's costume idea:

THE 6TH MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
Libertarian candidate for governor, SUPERDELL

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
At any gun shop, hang gliding shop, or the state mental health department.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
Totally. Totally awesome.

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Yes, provided the woman is attracted to media-hating, bat-shit crazy, former computer company owners who happen to be running for governor. Just stick to women with the intelligence of a golf club and you'll be fine.

BEST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
All the guns you can carry. Plus, you get to spell your name in all CAPS.

WORST PART OF THIS COSTUME:
People at your Halloween party would rather talk to a eucalyptus tree than someone dressed up as SUPERDELL.

The 7th Most Popular Utah Halloween Costume: Warren Jeffs

With only a few days remaining until Halloween, many are scrambling around looking for a last-minute Halloween costume. And the questions, oh the questions!

• "Will this kitty costume show my cleavage?"


• "I'm going as the ghost of Tim Russert - too soon?"


• "Where can I find a wig for my pregnant Bristol Palin costume?"


• "Does dressing in drag mean I'm gay?" (usually)

Fear not, for this is why you read The Regal Seagull: Utah's #1 News Source! For the next 7 days, we will provide you with a list of the 7 Most Popular Utah Halloween Costumes^TM, as well as information on where to buy the costume, how popular it is, and the odds of getting laid while wearing the costume.

THE 7TH MOST POPULAR UTAH HALLOWEEN COSTUME:
Warren Jeffs, the former FLDS prophet

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THIS COSTUME:
At a nearby Deseret Industries, Salvation Army, or local polygamist shoppe.

IS THIS COSTUME AWESOME:
Kind of.

WILL THIS COSTUME HELP YOU IN GETTING LAID:
Yes, provided the woman is very, very homely. And doesn't mind sharing, if you catch our drift.